A Spiritual Stint

A Spiritual Stint

I have made a new friend who has revived in me something which I had forgotten... or lost deliberately... or modified to suit my changed needs. In one of his mails, he asked me to comment on a piece of write-up where the Devil was bitching about God. In my reply, I ended up summarising the entire journey of my very short spiritual stint... Which I paste here:

I was a complete atheist till about 3 years back. Then, I had no reason to worship/love/judge/hate god as I didn't believe he exists. Life was cool.

Then I started talking about his non-existence more vocally with people more well read, more knowledgeable, more believing and more convincing than I was. And I turned agnostic. I still believed in the power man holds on his own destiny. But what perturbed me was just this one question which I couldnt answer without accepting a super-natural presence...

"Where did LIFE come from?"

The Big Bang theory and evolution and so on are just fine... I believe in science and swear by it. And logic and scientific reasoning have always commanded respect from me. But even science failed to explain to me... the chemistry or biology or physics or a combination... that contributes to generate that one spark in a lump of destructable matter... the spark that we call LIFE. It made me restless. Life was confused.

When I couldnt find an answer for this, I solemnly accepted the inexplicable power. And the word "divine" gained more meaning for me when i met HE (Yes, my co-author). I believe I can call myself a theist now. Life is beautiful now.

I still do not worship, do not communicate with god the way other people do (Sorry, Thank you, Please, How could you.... and so on)... I do not feel the necessity to start a noun or pronoun for him with a capital letter... but yes, I do believe he exists. My faith in man's potential is still immense... I too am a true fan of man (Just like the Devil is)... of his ability to make choices and shape his own destiny... I do feel pride in writing "I" in capital (Vanity is my favorite Sin)... but I have accepted that god.. or whatever you call that power... holds a force greater than man does.

And I have also come to realise... and this realisation has made a lot of hard facts easier for me to accept... that god has a weird sense of humour... which we humans dont understand... and hence don't laugh as often as god intented us to.

- SHE