prioritising priorities

Priorities… this word really screws me royally…

If u look from a particular angle, ur own self… what u are and what u aren’t.. and the life that u weave around urself… is all defined by ur priorities. Your entire freakin life…

The first priority that one has to face is whether to be optimistic or pessimistic… whats more important to u… to see the sunshine or the rain… and what do u do when both the sun and the rain seem equally alluring? I chose to see the sunshine… (symbolically… but actually I’ll prefer the rain any day!). I chose to smile when crying was much easier. That, I know, was the right decision. Politically, socially, culturally right.

The next… is the conflict between practicality and emotions. But I am confused here. I have always believed that emotions are not the opposite of practicality. Cant a practical person be emotional? Or an emotional one act pragmatic? I know I am on neither extreme. But people who know me think I am emotional. And people who know me real well think I am ‘emotionally strong’. It is so strange… that being ‘emotional’ is actually considered emotionally weak… and ‘practical’ people are thought of as being emotionally strong. And yet, I manage to be both emotional and emotional strong!

The next decision on ur priority… is whether to weave things around u… or people. Materialism… vs … love for others? Would a conflict between career and friends come under the purview of this conflict? It’s a hard choice for most. For me it was the easiest one. Love and human relations are all-important for me. I can do with a mediocre career… but I cannot do with mediocre love.

What makes your heart ache is when u have to prioritize within a priority. For instance… whom to love more? Does that make any sense? And yet you have to choose at times… fuck… I m going to bed…

- SHE